Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
