Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This is my gift to your gina
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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