I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
