tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
