Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
