His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
