I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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