Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The struggles of a small town man whore
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
