And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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