But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I love having hate sex.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
