Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize