Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize