It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I cockslap morals
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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