His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
