Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
