Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
