windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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