in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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