Umm I'm too high to move.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
