I must be too annoying 4 u.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
