I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
