I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
