i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
