Dual....:-)
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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