is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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