if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
