do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
