Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
