so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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