I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
love makes seman taste better
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Randomize
