Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
