Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
