Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
