I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize