i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
