Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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