I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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