he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The uberlube is also flammable
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
