Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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