it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
