you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize