Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
