so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Acid is not a monday night drug
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize