There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I did not marry a roomba.
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