Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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