sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
