I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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