You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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