haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
