he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
