i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This toilet bowl is my home.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
