My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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