no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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