smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
