hell yes lets make some ravioli
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
