everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
