I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
NoShamevember. You game?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
