Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
