Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
