Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
