absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
