Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
