Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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