how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
