Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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