She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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